Possessions
by WelcometoStruggleStreet
Summary: Shizuo Heiwajima doesn't have many possessions. A rack of the same bartending outfit, a picture of him and Kasuka, and some milk in the fridge. Now he has a new possession, Izaya Orihara.
1. Chapter 1

Possessions

Shizuo Heiwajima doesn't have many possessions. A rack of the same bartending outfit, a picture of him and Kasuka, and some milk in the fridge. Now he has a new possession, Izaya Orihara.

Chapter 1

How did we end up here? How did we end up chasing each other round and round trying to end the life of the other without remembering why we hated each other to start with? I remember Izaya pisses me off. But that's not a substantial reason. It's a pathetic excuse for a substantial reason. So why have I been chasing him around for so long?

These are the thoughts that hit me now that I've finally got him cornered. My hands pressing his wrists into the wall, and my knees locking down his legs. Blood is running from his mouth, but he's still smirking. Why is he still smirking like that!? He pisses me OFF!

"Go on then Shizu-chan," he grins, "Kill me."

His crimson eyes are filled with madness, it's like a sickness, an illness. It almost makes me feel an odd sympathy for the sadistic bastard.

"Why should I do you such a favour?" I ask, an unsuppressed growl laced into my voice.

"Oh? Shizu-chan is smarter than he looks…" Izaya cooed.

"I could crush your bones in an instant." I threaten through gritted teeth, trying to prolong the process but tightening my grip on his skinny fragile wrists.

"Do it then." Izaya grinned wider, "I dare you." he articulates.

"Don't underestimate me, Izaya-kuuun." I say, and crush his tiny wrists.

It's nothing, it's like crushing a potato chip. He winces, and I let go all of a sudden so he crumples to the ground. I don't hesitate in pinning him to the ground of the cold dark alley with the sole of my shoe on his chest.

"I had anticipated you would have some sort of soft spot for me, Shizu-chan." Izaya wheezed, his smirk still plastered on.

"Why would _I _have a soft spot for _you?_" I ask.

"Because you're still chasing me for what? And if you had a true motive, truthfully I would be dead." he says.

I lean closer to his mischievous face. No, his devil's mask, and now I can see it. The cracks in his façade. The fear in his eyes. He's still grinning but his eyes are filled with terror. They're glassy now and he's … about to cry?

"Why are you crying?" I demand.

"I'm not crying." he croaks out.

"Blink."

"No."

"I said blink! You can't stare forever!" I yell in his face.

I stare at him for minutes, and he stares at me. Then he blinks. And the tears roll.

Izaya Orihara is crying.

"I always wanted to live forever you know." he whispers.

What is he expecting? Sympathy? I reach down and grab the front of his shirt and toss him against the wall. He's so light like chucking a teddy bear. I'm reminded he's human when I hear the bones cracking as he crashes into the bricks.

"Why are you crying like a little girl in front of me?" I ask, for some reason feeling infuriated.

Izaya doesn't reply, I can hear him wheeze, cough, wince and cry. WHY IS HE CRYING?!

I stomp back towards his crippled figure on the ground, squeeze my fingers around his throat and hold him up against wall once more. I look up at the pathetic expression on his pathetic face.

"WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP?!" I yell.

Izaya opens his eyes which were squeezed shut. I feel something on my cheek and realize it was Izaya's hand. It was caressing my cheek? How is he doing that? He should have at least sustained two broken wrists, a fractured if not broken spine and ribs, and not be able to breathe. I release my grip on his throat and hold him by the waist, setting him down. It's not like he can go anywhere. Izaya's hand falls to his side again.

"I'm not giving up." he says quietly, "Just giving in."

"I love you, Shizuo."

Then he collapses into my arms.

It would leave a bad taste in my mouth if I left him lying in an alley way for some thugs to beat him to death. If there was anything more humiliating… After all the things he's done to me, I probably should leave him. But I'm trying to be better than that. Better than the piece of shit Izaya is.

SETTLING IZAYA DOWN ON THE COUCH, I wonder if he'll wake up. It'll be real fucking painful when he does but he should. In the meantime I'll get some sleep, if he wakes and tries to move, I'll hear his screaming.

And I do. At 3.46am on his digital bed side alarm, he wakes to Izaya's moans, groans and yelps. I walk groggily to the lounge room, closely evading the doorframe under a dizzy waking spell. I stumble over the lamp's chord, and trip- damn incoordination- and fall over the arm of the couch, consequently landing on top Izaya. Face into his thighs, fortunately not his crotch, and my legs flailing for a second off the furniture. I push myself off him, not minding his injuries in the slightest. He deserves to scream and groan after everything he's responsible for.

"Morphine!" Izaya gasped.

"I need morphine!" he repeated.

"Seeing you desperate and suffering is strangely amusing." I comment.

"Then can you really say I'm such a horrible person for enjoying people's *whimper* suffering as well?" he smirks.

"No one deserves it more than you do." I justify.

"Did you get up just to rub that in my face?" he asks,

"Yes." I confirm after a moment's thought.

Izaya tries to move but in result just yelps in pain.

"Do you realize how much more you're becoming like me by doing so?" Izaya asks in a window of peace.

"I'm nothing like you." I say grinding my teeth together.

I wonder why I even brought him here.

"I'm going back to bed." I say sighing.

"Shizu-chan!" he calls after me before harshly coughing, followed by a cry of pain. Coughing from the lump in his throat and crying from the pain of coughing with broken bones.

"What do you want?" I ask, admittedly out of pity.

"Don't let me sleep here. It hurts."

I've never heard him sound so pathetic.

"It'll hurt more to carry you to the bed." I grunt.

"Please…" he begs.

I reluctantly slide my arms under him and lift him up, he screams and cries, and when I look at him I don't see Izaya, just a pathetic ravenous corpse.

Moans of agony later, I settle Izaya down on the bed. He looks at me with that look of sheer desperation. Beads of sweat are more than noticeable, his chest heaves quickly, and he's restraining himself from crying or yelling out.

"Shizu-chan, make it better." Izaya begs.

I just look at him. Who are you and what have you done with Izaya Orihara?

"Please…"

"Shizuo."

He's pleading.

"I don't know what I can do for you." I say. I don't know medicine, the best I know is what bones I've broken and that the pain won't subside for a long time.

"Kiss me." says Izaya.

My eyebrows knit together.

"That won't do anything for you. Go to sleep." I tell him.

He's delusional.

"It'll make me feel better." he says in between deep breaths. "Kiss me."

He must be going crazy.

I lean down over him, over his helpless expression and overheated face. His confused features and his limp body. One hand to the left of his face and a knee over his hips. I look straight into his eyes. It's almost like they're not his eyes. But they are. Crimson and afraid. Afraid of what? Of me? I test that theory- leaning closer. He doesn't flinch, if anything his eyes become half lidded. I feel shaky and weak, petite hands touch my bare waist. He was being serious? And even though I had intended to just test the waters, there was no backing out now. His fingertips eggs me closer, he's too weak to pull. By automatic response I move closer again. There is only inches between our lips and our noses are touching. It makes me flinch away.

"No Shizu-chan," he says in a small voice, wincing as he tries to use his strength and keep me there.

I almost pulled away, why didn't I?

That timid voice, had it been enticing?

Regardless, the moment my lips touched his, my stomach churned, then everything faded away. There was just me and him. This fragile body beneath me responding to my touch. It felt so right, though it was so wrong. His thumbs slid across my skin making me shiver. It made me kiss his soft lips harder. He moaned in pain but I took advantage of it, slipping my tongue across his bottom lip and into his mouth, muffling any sounds of pain. I could still feel his whimpers. I bring my right hand to his cheek and pull his face closer if that were possible. He moans again. This time it sounds different to before. Pleasure? Pleasure mixed with pain. What am I thinking? Nothing. I straddle him, his hands travelling up to my ribs. His gentle hands are so soft. Is it because his wrists are broken and his will is the only thing holding them there? Or were they always like this? I bite his bottom lip, I'm frustrated to know the answer. There's another moan from beneath me, and his hands sneak up behind my neck, clutching on to the ends of my hair. He's shaking and weak. And it only makes me more aggressive. My kisses drift to his jaw and travel down his throat. The throat I'd strangled probably only six hours prior. He writhes in pain, but ultimately it just hurts him more. His fingers run through my hair and his panting becomes evident again. My hands touch at the base of abdomen and slide his shirt up roughly. The pressure on his spine and ribs is too much and cries out.

Then he begs, he begs me to stop.

"STOP! STOP! PLEASE, STOP!" he cries.

But I don't stop. I can't stop. My bottom lip grazes over his skin, and then I nip at his ribs. My hands are squeezing at his waist. Izaya screams.

"Please…" he begs weakly.

and then I freeze.

Silently I remove myself and leave the room. Izaya says nothing. I don't know what to think of myself. Before thinking too much I crash on the couch and wish sleep upon me. If I stayed awake it would be agonizing.

**Please leave a review if you enjoyed chapter 1 and would like to read more! **

**This is currently a oneshot, but I could be persuaded. **

**~Red Queen of Stolen Hearts **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I forgot what it was like to feel human. To be human.

To feel pain…

And emotions…

Such things that hinder us from playing God and exceeding all others.

"Shizu-chan…" I whisper meaninglessly as the brute leaves the room.

I feel so degraded, and disgusted in myself. Degraded by Shizuo's dominance. Disgusted by this heinous lust.

Being human sucks.

Every wall I put up around my humanity is shattered.

God has fallen.

Mortality is the only viable option.

My real foe, is mortality. Perhaps I envy Celty and Shizuo? Even Shizuo is far closer to immortality than I'll ever be.

Perhaps that's one of the things that draws me to him?

The world starts faded around me… yes… sleep.

WHEN I WAKE, my head throbs… everything… EVERYTHING aches. I whine in pain, forgetting my sense of pride. I regret it later every time, it signifies the transition to seeming human again. No! Shut it off! Can't I close the feelings off? Can't I stuff my humanity into a box, lock it and throw away the key?

"AAHHHHHH!" I yell out again, wanting to clutch at the sense of the pain but I can't. My body, no matter how much I command it, hurts too much for will power to succeed it.

Then the blonde enters.

"Help!" I gasp desperately, it's odd. My mouth is saying the words, but I didn't think them. I'm not speaking of my own will? I don't understand. Or do I?

Am I going mad?

"Shizuo!" something tugs at me, urging to touch him. His hand is only centimeters from mine but I can barely twitch.

"Yeah I'm trynna help you!" he yells at me, his scold is strangely comforting.

An hour passes, unwillingly tears are still spilling from my eyes, but the pain is slowly subsiding.

"Wow." I scoff, "You must have had a lot of broken bones before…" I mutter with a smirk.

Shizuo's made homemade splints for both my wrists and he's moved me to the floor because it's better support for my back. He placed icepacks on the areas where bruising is prominent, and a cold flannel on my sweating forehead. I catch a glimpse of the colour of the bruises. They are nasty greens and purples, occasionally red.

He has to feed me the drugs, since I can't move. He pops a tablet into my mouth and gruffly commands, "Swallow." and tips water down my throat. It's rough and I almost choke, but I'm admittedly grateful.

"Shizu-chan," I murmur weakly, "Call Shinra."

"Already did. He'll be here in 30." (minutes) Shizuo answered.

"How considerate," I chime, plastering on the same wicked smile as always.

"What's up with you anyway? Are you terminally ill or something?" Shizuo asks me,

Terminally ill? Don't make me laugh! Though when you think about it I guess it isn't so preposterous. But if being hunted by world-class assassins is a form of terminal illness, then yes. Although I have to say I'm flattered that they've deployed such elite forces just for me.

"Somewhat." I answer cheekily.

"Tch. Whatever. You're being strangely submissive, even for being injured…

I'm going for a smoke." Shizuo announced.

"Have fun!~" I sing teasingly, such a poor attempt at mockery from someone such as myself.

When Shizuo calls me 'submissive' it strikes a chord. It makes me hate my current state more than I do already. I want to lock my humanity away again. Block out the all the pain, the emotions, the desires and the little but existent compassion I have! Re-emerge a God again. Once again be the puppeteer holding the strings for only my own amusement. I won't bow down to anybody, and especially not Shizuo.

But I love Shizuo. It's almost like that voice inside my head doesn't belong to me… What is this torment? It's absurd to think I love that monster. But who am I kidding, I'm the biggest monster of them all. Or so I was until I regained fear amongst other things.

Fear is not something that I've harbored for a very, very long time. My only fear had been death, but it had been easy to dismiss since I'd devised methods to evade it. Now there is no evading it, triggering fear- thus releasing a side of myself hidden from the world long ago. How old was I when I started to suppress the characteristics I'm label humanity? 7 was I? Or 8? The days when mother and father were blackmailed to commit a terrorist attack and then double suicide to save myself and my sisters. My mother and father were stupid. They always said, "Don't fight fire with fire!" and "Two wrongs don't make a right you know!" I always knew they were wrong. If you didn't retaliate you allowed yourself to be trampled on, but if you are the one to do the trampling you would certainly end up with blood and guts on the bottom of your shoe. I applied my own philosophy to the situation. I opened father's camera phone and recorded the entire debriefing after they'd done it… at least there was evidence that they had been blackmailed. After their suicide, they weren't going to keep their word obviously, my sisters and I weren't safe from them. Not until I took precautions. I sent copies of that video out to everyone in the phone's contacts, and uploaded it to every social media site I knew. I told that the only way they were avoiding doing time or receiving capital punishment was if I was to verify that it was not them on the recording- the poor quality meant I could twist the story to my leisure. If I was dead, all the evidence would point to them, if I was alive I could hold up my end of the bargain and push the blame onto someone else. Even help them frame my own parents. But I didn't trample on my prey directly. I've always known better, a child's charm was the perfect weapon against my Aunt's lawyer. I manipulated him like a sock puppet. I made sure that lawyer convinced the suspects they were going to walk free hence releasing my sisters from anymore blackmail, then all it took was a witness statement from myself and my sisters telling them who did it. Everyone believes sweet innocent children. In the end, they all fell victim to the manipulation of a cunning 7 ½ year old child. But really, they were just plain stupid. Committing murder was one thing, getting away with it was a whole other.

From then on, something switched within myself and I realized I had the potential to play at God. Religion preached to a higher power they never met, but I… I was very real. I ceased power and made others grovel, everyone in Tokyo was to know the name Izaya Orihara. I am better than any god who makes empty promises in exchange for faith. Though I never gave away any bargains, I always uphold my end of the deal, yet still allow nature to take its course. What better God was there than I?

IT WASN'T LONG before Shinra enters.

He expresses his disbelief about the situation, mostly the fact that I, Izaya Orihara was taking refuge- crippled- in Shizuo Heiwajima's flat.

Whilst he tends to my wounds, I notice Shizu-chan lingering in the shadows of the room from time to time. Shinra continues to ramble about a ground-breaking discovery he could make if he had funding to conduct the appropriate experiments. Something he says about cell stimulation to quicken recovery time and strengthen the immune system.

"Shinra," I interrupt on the brink of my epiphany, "What if I was to be genetically modified using the DNA of a Dullahan?"

Shinra stopped speaking abruptly, quite obviously he knew what this would be implying. Extracting DNA from his beloved Celty and infusing it with me.

"I… cannot see how that is possible." he finally states.

"You're a doctor. You know perfectly well it's possible. You simply don't want to do it because you don't want to share Celty." I point out, "Surely you've thought about it before…" I taunt, "What you are trying to achieve with the experiment which you don't have enough funding for can be achieved by this as well…" There are only two ways to bribe Shinra; with Celty or through his own curiosity. "And if this does succeed, I will agree to fund you fully, and supply you with any human guinea pigs as you require. Just inform me of the criteria." all cards are on the table.

I can almost hear Shinra's brain ticking. Good, he's seriously thinking about this. My eyes scan the room, no Shizuo. Very good.

"Say I was to agree to this. You do understand I cannot guarantee success…. and the number of things that could go wrong are undeterminable." he continues, "These are unbroken waters Izaya-san, you may not awaken the same."

"Hmmmm, tell me Shinra, what is the worst that could happen?" I ask,

"You turn into a vegetable." Shinra answers honestly.

I chuckle. "Shall we schedule a time then?"

"You really are stupidly fearless." says Shinra. Unfortunately, that's not true. "However as I recall, that purely a hypothetical scenario. Give me a good reason why I should agree to your proposition?"

"You do realize if this experiment is a success, you yourself will be able to extend your life with your beloved Celty." I tempt, surely he is aware of this fact already though.

"Yes I do realize. But I don't need another reason for myself to go through with this, I need your personal reason to go through with this." as expected of Shinra.

There's no helping it. "I'll be frank. There is currently a bounty on my head. A bounty so high that it would fund your little experiment 3 times over. So here's the deal, I need this immunity against whichever assassins are hunting me, if the experiment fails and I die or turn into a vegetable- you can cash me in for the bounty yourself and use the money for funding. If it succeeds and I am a happy customer, as well as supplying you with however much funding you need, I will even assist Celty in finding her head. That is the proposition, I suggest you take it for your own benefit."

"I'll consider it." says Shinra.

He's contemplating discussing the matter with Celty. He wants to take me up on the deal.

Even as a human I refuse to be powerless. I am still Izaya Orihara.

**That concludes chapter 2! **

**I apologize that this chapter completely lacks romance and fluff. But I felt this was very necessary for this originally-oneshot's development into a full blown story. I hope I captured Izaya's personality well enough for you all. **

**Shout outs to those who added this to their favorites- GateBreaker, , Novi-desu, this-feeling-inside, YaoiIsMyDrug.23, and reconnectSlyBlue … thank you all!**

**Those who followed- Hetaliapasta90, Samm-o.o, , Shimooo, this-feeling-inside, anaidreh, Deidara4ever, codeclannad, shineelover5ever, blackheart25663 … thanks everyone! **

**And my amazing reviewers!- Kajune, One of your (my ^.^) fans, this-feeling-inside, anaidreh, Deidara4ever, and reconnectSlyBlue … thanks for encouraging me to continue this story! Please continue your much needed support! **

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter, if so, please leave a review as that will be a great encouragement for another chapter! **

**~Red Queen of Stolen Hearts **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Izaya said he will help you find your head." Shinra tempts.

Celty contemplates in thought for a moment before typing again.

[Could it be he knows where it is already?] Celty asks,

"It's quite possible." Shinra answers honestly, "I won't agree to this if you don't want to."

Celty pauses. Then types again, [Do you really care for Izaya-san?]

Shinra doesn't speak.

[You don't want him to die, do you?]

His expression becomes uneasy.

[It can't be helped then.]

…

I'm feeling edgy today.

"What is so tasteful about cigarettes Shizu-chan?" Izaya twiddles the drug in between his fingers.

I shoot a look at him, how does he expect me to answer? Not that I care. I turn away.

"Can I borrow your lighter?" he asks casually.

His sudden lack of annoying demeanor and devious leering is strange. It's almost as if he's normal. AS IF.

It's probably on that basis that I reach into my breast pocket and toss the lighter to him.

"Ah, thank you."

"If you're feeling better you should go home." I finally say.

"But I don't want to go home." Izaya quickly retorts.

"What the fuck does that mean? Do you think I'm giving you a choice?" My teeth crush the death stick between them.

Somehow without thinking about it, I've marched over to the sneering asshole and am holding him in the air by the ruff of his jacket.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya smiles, "Somehow this feels all too familiar."

"How so?" I grunt through gritted teeth.

"Oh you don't feel that way to? Well I guess it's different this time since I'm dangling off a balcony instead of held against a wall." Oh look at that, he's hanging over a busy street however many dozen floors down.

I could drop him. I could just let go, walk away and act like he never existed. No one'll miss this flea. Maybe Shinra. But no one else. Look at his sweating face. He's aware this could be the death of him. Why does he keep making this too damn easy?!

"Tch."

I toss him onto the ground beside me, and leave. He makes me overthink things. Damn flea.

"Oh come on, what was that? Have I overestimated the 'Strongest Man in Ikebukuro'?" Izaya taunts.

I stop in my tracks, "Forget it Flea. Why do you wanna die so bad huh?"

"Whoever said I wanted to die? But as I suspected… you're becoming predictable. It's no fun that way Shizu-chan." he pouts.

That fucking ass knew I wouldn't kill him… He pisses me off!

"So why won't you kill me? Did you think we were going to go round in circles playing with each other forever? I bet you never even gave it a thought. So tell me, what _do _you think about? Surely something, however limited, goes on up there. I'm intrigued." he mocks.

What's he's playing at? I don't have time or fucks to give for his petty games.

"I don't have to answer to you." I retort, trying to take my leave again. Let alone try and suppress my anger.

Then I feel something squeezing around my waist.

Why the fuck is Izaya hugging me?

"I didn't say you could leave yet." his words are muffled, since his face is buried in my waistcoat, I can feel his breath on my back and it makes me shiver- ironically.

"Get off me flea!" I squirm. I try to grab at him but he's in a sort of blind spot.

"Careful, careful, my bones are still broken you know." he chirps.

"You're to chipper for someone with broken bones! Just go die somewhere already!" I really didn't think those words through.

"I believe I presented to you an opportunity for that." he sniggers.

"Just get OFF OF ME!" I growl, finally managing to pry his arms off.

Come to think of it, it should have been easy to start with… I can lift a car or even a truck, but I can't pull a flea off me. How annoying.

"Shizu-chan is blushing!" Izaya sings,

"I'm angry!" I retaliate in my defense,

"I almost believed you just now." he sneers.

How did it come to this?

How did I end up pressed against a wall by a sneering raven with demeaning crimson eyes?

I don't feel so strong anymore. It's not the lack of physical strength anymore… this is psychological.

"Shizu-chan. Fascinate me." he demands, a fake sweet lace in his voice.

"No. I'm on one of your toys you can play with." I go to swat his arms away-

Only to be taken aback by him pushing his body into me. Our legs are entwined, his hips pressed against mine, his hands either side of my head and we're staring face to face. His hands reach for my sunglasses. I don't move. I'm frozen. Rooted to the spot. When the shades are lifted from my eyes there is another sensation.

His lips are on mine. Surprisingly soft and rough at the same time. I grip his jacket and hold him close. His teeth nip my bottom lip and then lick it, tongue making contact just barely. So that's how he wants it? I forcefully change our positions, Izaya is now pressed in between me and the concrete exterior of my apartment. He cringes on impact. His weak expressions are so alluring. I'm about to kiss him hard and passionate- but no. I kiss his neck roughly, fingers at his waist kneading into his soft skin. When did they even slip under his shirt? My teeth nip at his collarbone, his fingers grip my hair and tug.

What the fuck am I doing? I snapped out of it.

I pull away from Izaya. He looks so vulnerable and aroused, it gives me the urge to take advantage of it… But I hate him. I hate his guts so much that I can't kill him without making him undergo a lifetime of agony before he ventures to hell! So what was I doing? What the fuck is wrong with me!?

The chord snapped,

Both my fists are buried into the fragmented walls either side of the flea's head. I extract them from their wakes and see my knuckles red-raw with gushing crimson liquid flowing down my fingers. My attention reverts back to Izaya.

Why does he look afraid? Why does the unbreakable look so broken?

I tear myself away from him. I have to bandage my hands now.

Once inside, "Damnit!" I yell to myself.

I light myself another cigarette to relieve some of the anxiety. I don't usually smoke inside since the lingering smell reminds me of the hustling city, my job, and the bastard who manipulates me to give chase and whips out knives when I do.

…

THE FOLLOWING DAY, Izaya finds himself before Shinra, unable to explain what happened to himself the past 24hrs.

He can't explain the bruises on his waist, nor the cuts at the back of his head, nor the surging pain that was supposed to be only getting better with rest and medical attention.

Shinra continues to interrogate him about what he'd been doing, and scolding him since he wasn't supposed to leave his bed in the first place. But Izaya keeps saying he doesn't remember. He says he remembers up until telling Shizuo to "fascinate him" and then it's pretty blurred and black from then on.

Izaya hasn't spotted Shizuo lurking in the corner of the room since the incident. He doesn't think he should be expecting him to be there, it just felt odd to not as much as heard a peek from him.

When Shinra finishes scolding Izaya, and tending to the new and re-inflamed injuries, he leaves Izaya to rest. On the way to the door he catches Shizuo on the way.

"Shizuo-san," Shinra begins,

"Mmm?" Shizuo responds,

"Here's the thing… This may sound like an impossible task, but perhaps you should redirect your anger." Shinra says.

Shizuo's eyes widen. Could Shinra- from the inflictions he'd made on Izaya's body- know about _that?_!?

"What do you mean?" he Shizuo asks strained.

"I mean… rather than using your abnormal strength to try and kill Izaya… use it to protect him." he says slowly, aware he is treading on uneven ground. He quickly adds, "You will be paid to do so of course and Celty will be helping as well!"

"What the fuck are you talking about!?" Shizuo growls at Shinra.

"Izaya-san is in a predicament…"-

"Shinra, allow me to explain." Izaya stands in the doorway to the bedroom.

"Didn't I just tell you to stay in bed?" Shinra sighs.

"This is a rather important discussion which requires my exclusive presence." Izaya smirks, taking a seat on the couch.

"What is it flea?" Shizuo demands.

"It just so happens, that I need two highly skilled bodyguards at my side at all times." he explains.

"I already have a job, ask someone else. Besides why would I protect you of all people?" Shizuo replies.

"Gee Shizu-chan, I was trying to compliment you. Although in reply to your question I have to ask you another, why bring me back into the comfort of your home instead of leaving me to die?" Izaya asks.

"Because I don't like kicking wounded puppies." Shizuo retorts.

"I'm just going to leave you two to it…~" Shinra chimes, sensing the tension.

They watch Shinra leave and then the tension re-arises.

"Shizu-chan why don't you love me?" Izaya asks,

Shizuo is stiff- stunned.

"Hello? Shizu-chan?" Izaya clicks in front of the bartenders face.

Shizuo grabs his wrist and yanks his annoying hand away.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." Izaya winces.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU?" Shizuo roared.

"My, my, Shizu-chan, you're like a kid with a broken toy." Izaya taunts.

"I should strangle you!" the blonde yells in Izaya's face.

"You and I both know you won't actually do it." the raven says blankly.

"Don't make assumptions about me Flea!" Shizuo exclaims.

…

I could break all the bones, and bust all the little veins and nerves in his neck. It's as if I already know that I'm not actually going to do it. But the fact that he knows it as well makes me mad. He has to know he can't assume things as he pleases.

So I keep squeezing harder and harder, the colour is draining from his face. The image actually makes me smile. He struggles to breath.

He writhes under my grip, it's so satisfying. Maybe I will just kill him here? End the game now.

I imagine him dropping limp to the ground and a voice in my head whispering 'Game Over'.

Something about that vision makes me let go. A killer is not someone I want to be.

He falls to the ground, rasping for air desperately, heaving in and out short quick breaths.

I head to the bathroom. "What am I doing?" I ask myself. I almost killed him. I could have. But I didn't. This never bothered me before. Killing the flea was a frequent thought, and maiming him never had this kind of effect on me before. Although nor did I go a sadistic episode. Sneering at someone in the face of death is only something Izaya would do. Maybe what I'm experiencing is fear? Like how I fear hurting other people, I fear becoming like Izaya. Furthermore I fear hurting Izaya, who I hate, because I care about him who I hate. What the fuck is wrong with me? I hit my head against the tiles. It leaves a small crater and blood runs down my forehead only to get washed away in the running water staining it a sheer shade of peach.

I find myself with the same question reoccurring regularly.

"What the fuck am I doing?"

And it's all Izaya's fault. He confuses me.

**Big thanks to my story's fans! I've actually had this chapter written for a long time, but hadn't decided whether this is where I wanted the story to go and if I wanted it to go on. But now I'm thinking what the hell, let's just see what happens. So apologies, even the below AN is out of date! **

**But hey, here's to the continuation of this story!**

**Favourites'; jynxxvuuhta, yaoi-dream153, , &amp; El' Caliente **

**Followers; magic-pearl, jynxxvuuhta, Flor Velasquez, yaoi-dream153, xOHikaruOx, Coulson, &amp; DragonCakie **

**Reviewer; reconnectSlyBlue**

**AN: As with all chapters I've written for this story, I've read over and over them wondering if I've captured the essence of each character correctly and whether they are good enough reading. I rely a lot on your support to gauge that. I hope I haven't already bored you by chapter 3, which would be rather unfortunate. Please bear with me as updates are shit- sorry guys. I've starting fulltime studies and have to go to the library every time I want to update. Please leave a review if you have an opinion, or something you didn't/like. Feedback is greatly appreciated ^.^ **

**Regards, **

**And Welcome to Struggle Street~ **


	4. Chapter 4

Hi Everyone!

Sorry this is not a chapter :( I am almost finished the next chapter! Hopefully should be up next weekend!

I just wanted to apologize as I forgot to change the status of this story from 'Completed' back to 'In Progress' as the story has recommenced.

The story will go on! I do hope my writing style hasn't changed it's been so long. I blame writers block.

Hope you are all still with me, thank you for all your support!

Until next chapter...


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